The doc wanted to check and see if I was dialated because I was telling her things were feeling a little different. Sure enough things had started. Well, when I went to pull down my shorts and Queen V says, "mom!!! Mom!!! What are you doing??? Mom!!! I see your tushy!!!" I laugh and tell her the doc has to check to see what is happening inside...
She turns and shields her eyes in the corner of the room....
When we go to pick up Mr. T Queen V tells him, "T, you are not going to believe what Mommy did today... " She procedes to tell him that the doc checked my tushy to see how the baby was doing.. because that is where the baby is going to come out!
silence fell in the van....
In a little voice you hear, "grossssssssssss!!!!"
I almost wrecked the van... so funny...
yes, my son... gross... but you will get to hold and snuggle your very own baby very soon... hahahahaha
I know it doesn't match with the Middle Wife but for Mr. T to listen, understand and come up with his own reasoning just cracked me up! His language is still pretty limited but he understoond this concept! ha!
Now... on to the story Aunt Lorine sent to me... it's called "The Middle Wife"
The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher.
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,
pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'
'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.) 'My Dad called the middle wife.. She delivers babies, but she doe sn' t have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this. ' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.'
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.
Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy.
