time keeps on tickin tickin tickin into the future

know the song? love it... makes we wanna "fly like an eagle.. to the stars.." or something like that! lol!

I have been away from the computer in a while.../ I have wanted to continue my journal but just haven't had time. My dh thinks I aam getting a new hobby- exercising.. what he doesn't know is that I jused to do it allll the time. When we gont married I joined a gym- he did too but didn't like it near as much as me. I love to lift weights, ride bikes... I want to get back to shape so I can play with my kids, not get winded. go shopping for pants that fit nice and a binkini that shows it allll of by a pool or th ebeach! it has bee so long since I wore a bikini... oh.. what a nice thought!

So as promised to myself I would not expect the unattainable and would ask for help. I have been doing more of that and it has helped. I have been getting up every day and exercicising.. without fail. I hope sI can keep it up. I do like the way I feel afterward and it makes me stnd just a little bit taller! I want to mkae and impression on my kids and I think I am. THat is a good thing !

When I get a chance to upload more Friday pics I will! My boy has learned to sit by himsef - it's a brave new world from the ground to 12 inches up! lol! He is so proud of himself!

back on track

just a moment to write and show my entries.

first, a nod to Rhonna for leading our group- thanks - you are inspirational to us! I did a little doodling just as a tip of the hat to you for your guidance. It kind of feels like highschool thinking, doodling, wondering... goal setting... hoping it will all work out this time.
Since I am an adult.. it is really up to me to make it happen... hope be damned. This is how it will be.. it is up to me...

I am putting up day 1.5 for my "think again" entry which got me to think more about what this is going to be for me.(this is on the right) I also have Day 2 (on the left) done... goes along with Lent for me.. hopefully I will lead the family in this journey of ours during this time of giving. I don't think many people see it as that but it is what it is.. a time of giving.... back to oneself.. back to the Creator... back to God.

I'm about to take the kids for Ash Wednesday... hope that they remember what we have been talking about as a family... what it means to give of yourself for something higher than themselves...

think again

oh... so here we are on Fat Tuesday... .time to THINK AGAIN... I was looking at Rhonna's challenges and just have not had time for them... think that's a goal! I do!!! I need to manage my time better. As a teacher I had every minute down to a science... my kids had something to do from teh moment they walked into the classroom to the moment they walked out... My question for them most days when they exited was to tell me or the person next to them, "what was the most important thing you learned today in history? What was your 'ah-ha' moment?" I think I need to ask myself of this question... what was so important today.. whether it's making my kids laugh (you live longer if you laugh, you know?".. .keeping up with letter writing to friends, keeping my home organized so we can all enjoy it and me not being grumpy, going for a walk to enjoy the spring that is coming... reading to my kids...

so I am going to restart the journal... being FAt Tuesday it makes me prepare more for Lent... not just a sacrifice of something but doing something positive that has a positive outlook on the the world right here around me... my family.. what can I do for them to make this a better home...

off to figure out my day :)

imagine everythign is real

ok.. so I played with this. Her trip- Rhonna's- for us is to find a new habit in 21 days... what will it be? Well... I know organization is the pits around here from time to laundry on the couch.... toys everywhere and chores not done. I have tried flylady and can't get back in th swing of it with 3 kids.. I know I should but I can't get the emails... I really didn't mind the 1000 a day- honest.. take what you need and dump the rest. anyway... I made this collage of ideas that I want to get across to my kids and to get my life in order... oh my- a bit to chew in just 21 days- don't you think? hahaha

wow- so much time has slipped by and I have only a few minutes to gather my thoughts!
things to do... so much to learn.. try and learn a new thing every day....

1. created a LO on my dd's 1st snuggles with dear friends... they are so sweet but so far away in Croatia.. I miss them and wonder when I will get to see them again.. let alone go to their country with my "sister"

2. going to attempt [url=http://rhonnafarrer.typepad.com/dreamy/2006/02/beginnin.html]Rhonn Ferrer's[/url] altered journal - try and learn some new techniques, discover myself... I seem to have lost who I am at some point... I know that I have become so many different things but have you ever had the feeling that there is a tear behind your eyes just waiting to get out.. and once it is it's such a relief? I think this just might lead me where I need to be.. finding my priorities.

3. I have been under pressure about my kids... health wise and things are working out. I am SURE this is because of the POWER of PRAYER... I have told my kids and buds never to underestimate the power... my dd was having such pains. We didn't know what the problem was.. no one would give us a nameand quite frankly I was too afraid to ask if it was somehing so serious. It wasn't but it is something we have to take care of. Then my son - the doc thought- my son had crossed eyes. He doesn't and for that I am greatful! my kids- all 3- have their health and that is good!

Have you ever seen a miracle?? I have been in the presence of a few.... quite something when you see it- even better when you REALLY realize that miracles happen every day - right in front of our eyes! amazing!

I listened to Cat Stevenson's "CAt's Cradle" today... something to really listen to. I know I need to pay more attention to my kid's every day lives so that I don't miss a beat. I want to be able to be a person they can rely on, talk to, and share ideas and dreams with. ohhhh

can't forget my Friday pic- great day for it.. he was full of smiles. so many of them were blurry because he was jumping up and down- love that! :)

something to learn... how do I add a link without the url showing?? hmmmmm

oh, one more thing... I learned to listen to my daughter today... she tries so hard to communicate.. I need to give her more time to do so.

Friday has come and gone... about to go for a good soak... to wash away all the restlessness of the week and bring forth the weekend...

Since today is Friday I took pics of my son... I take photos of him every Friday to see his changes.. to let him see his changes when he gets older. I have done this with each of my children and it gets harder in some ways to get it done and easier in others.

Harder in that I have 3 children now and so many things I have to get done in a day. Harder in that I have new pressures put upon myself trying to become a better photographer of babies, infants and children. I would really like to do this on the side as the kids go to school. I read others' ideas on what makes a good photograph and composition.. just my time of reading things about photography is limited. I have so many interests it is difficult to find the time to read, practice and play with the film. I would really love to learn how to work my Adobe Photoshop. I think my husband's cousin knows how and hopefully she will teach me... she is in college so a good dinner will be a good trade ! :)

Easier in that I have taken so many and really enjoy doing different things- experimenting with knew found knowledge. I hope to pass this onto my kids so that they are interested in journaling, photographing memories and taking on the challenge of preserving information of themselves, the family and friends.

Anyway, today's shoot was short... my camera's battery died... I had my camera setting on something different than I thought... sooooo bear with my work as it is surely in progress!
If I could learn more then I would be able to put myself out there for photographing family and friends more... showing them the talent I know is inside me just waiting to come out.

I know I have been "called" to do many things- I think we all are in one way or another called to do different things, to learn and teach others about... I know for a time I was called to be a teacher of children of history and of ESL. I then was called to help other teachers. I still hear this call- to help other teachers become better teachers, for first year teachers not to run out of the classroom but back after summer enthusiastic about teaching another generation!!! oh, I miss this in a way but KNOW that God has called me to be a mother now... the greatest teacher around!

thoughts on accomplishments

did I accomplish much today??? no... not really but if you look at the big scheme of things - maybe... to gain trust of a child is one of the biggest things I can think of that I as a mom need to work on daily.

When I had each one of my children I prayed to Mary to guide me though the labor... heck, there were no epidurals for Mary... even she had to live through the ups and downs of nursing... chasing a 2 year old or even a younger toddler saying, "don't put that in your mouth! Yuck!" Can't you just hear it now? so the Rosary always brings me back to this important day in our lives... the first struggle in our lives together as parent and child.

I have to wake each day knowing that we grow as people. I am a learner but most of all a teacher to my children of what to say, how to act, what to do, how to pray... it all adds up for the big picture. What did I learn from today that will make me a better mom? What did I do today to show my children I love them unconditionally? I will have to ask tomorrow from my kids what I did right....

I used to at least tickle my little ones daily so that they had a good laugh. It is important to laugh... even if it is from physical touch. It is important that they know my love is unending... unconditional.

I keep a calendar of the first year of theier life--- something happens daily to a little one... wish I had continued this practice for more than the first year...

ok... every Friday I take pics of my boy... my boy- I still can't believe I have a son. In all my ideas I never knew I would have a child- let alone a son! He teaches me gentleness in a way I never knew.

so - here he is in our backyard taking in some rays at the end of January... nice to be barefoot, wear comfy clothes and feel the warmth of the "son"!

finally- I learned... now to practice again and again... look a double entry in one day... who knew!

learning learning

always I find myself trying to learn just one more thing... what will it be today?
so many things about this computer. that is what is on my mind...

1. place pics on my blog
2. get a site that will host my pics
3. learn my PSE... this drives me insane as I try to pick up what I am to do next..

why do the computer gurus seem to have an idea that I have an idea about this? I am a historian by nature- give me a book to touch, to feel- to dogear so I can refer to it as I please and not get lost in one page or another of the "help" they so want to give on a computer screen. How am I to see that screen, practice my new found knowledge, and then do it again so it is ingrained in me??? hmmmmmmm

just one more thing to ponder

first time is the charm

here I am in cyberspace... gathering thoughts... thinking of all the thing I want to do versus all the things I have to do... what is next??? time will tell and maybe I will fill you in on what is going on :)

scrap
clean
organize
play
read
learn...

so much to do and not enough time... so this will be a fast one for sure!